More ripples

Options.

I seem to have a few. So why do I feel down-in-the-mouth about it all? Is it because the change is being forced upon me? Ironically, this is just what I have wanted for ages so why am I glum?

I had a bit of a plan. It wasn’t much, that’s for sure. But a plan, nonetheless. I would finish the contract and leave as planned in January by which time, hopefully, our two expected ‘bonuses’ would have boosted the coffers. But it’s only mid-September and pressure at work has forced to me resign. When I walk away exactly is still open to debate – it could have been today, it might be in a month or it might still be in January if I have the nerve and the balls to refuse to budge.

I tend to take the easy way out, the path of least aggro: exit before anyone notices; don’t put anyone to any bother, heaven forbid! But today I am feeling defiant. Why should I be the one to back down, to be forced to change my opinion about something that is important to me? I want to stand face-to-face and eye-to-eye with V (a bit hard as she’s at least four inches shorter than me) and say ‘sack me, or I’m staying until the contract ends’.

My stand will create waves. People to gossip and sides taken and grievance procedures may be set in motion but at least I’ll have made a stand. I risk being sacked with my record marked, or considered a nuisance. There may be some dodgy days and no one can fault my work. More importantly, I won’t have scuttled away just to make life easy for others.

Or will I?